Walking through the minefield we call life ain’t always easy…

The Trouble with Walking

My wife has faithfully walked with a girlfriend every morning for the better part of the last two years. When that friend was out recently for a minor surgery, I stepped in to take her place. One of the first things that became immediately evident was the fact that my wife is in far better shape than I am.

On our most recent constitutional at a nearby park, we were not but a few steps in when I realized that I had a small rock in my shoe. It must be noted at this point that I walk in a pair of toe shoes, the athletic kind, not the ballet. Without the benefit of socks, the rock quickly became very uncomfortable under my foot. However, I was determined to soldier on, and so it was not until mile marker one that I asked to stop to remove the rock. Now while it had seemed to me that during that first mile the rock had grown to be boulder-sized, the stone I removed was, in fact, quite small. As we walked the second mile, the spot on my foot where the rock had been began to grow very uncomfortable. With each step, it felt as though the sole of my foot was grinding against my shoe and becoming more and more irritated. At the end of mile two, I asked my wife if we could stop as I could go no further. Moving to the car, I took off my shoe to examine my foot. I fully expected to find the shoe full of blood and shredded flesh, but instead found no evidence of a mark all. How is it that my foot could be hurting so badly? Obviously, I’m not nearly as tough as I imagined myself to be.

The Trouble with Wounds

There are many people who could be classified as the “walking wounded”. The problem with wounds is that we tend to look at them from only two perspectives: either the wound was caused by someone else or that it was self-inflicted. Sometimes we fail to consider that there could be a third factor at work. Sometimes things just happen. I certainly didn’t put that rock in my shoe, nor did anyone else, but it did affect me greatly. The longer I trudged along with it still in my shoe, the more the rest of my body began to notice. Due to my affected gait, my knee soon began to feel discomfort and then, eventually, my back. What had started as a pleasant time of closeness and conversation with my wife, ultimately turned quite unpleasant.

The same principle applies to spiritual and emotional wounds. If we spend time looking for an external causation to explain the wound, we can quickly drift into a victim mentality and risk becoming filled with self-pity. If instead we internalize the cause, that it was somehow our fault, we can fall into self-condemnation. We think that had we only been smarter, made better decisions, been more educated, etc., etc., the wound would have never occurred. Often these feelings are multiplied when the wound seems small. When my foot injury showed nearly no external effect, my first thought was that I shouldn’t be feeling this level of pain and that I wouldn’t be, if only I were stronger. How could something that appeared so insignificant have such an effect on me?

The Problem with Waiting

Had I stopped at my first notice to dump the rock from my shoe, it would have saved me much discomfort, and I may not have ever written this little essay. When tending to a wounded heart or soul, time is of the essence. Just as with a physical wound, the longer the injury remains unattended, the greater the opportunity for infection and deeper damage. If the wounded person chooses to look externally for the cause, they become wary of entering into relationship with others because they are convinced that others will only hurt them in the end. If left unattended, these thoughts can progress to full-blown paranoia. On the other hand, if the wound is embraced as self-inflicted it can damage the self-esteem. This mindset affects other relationships as the wounded person cannot receive love from others as they are trapped by the loathing they have for themselves.

The Solution to Walking Wounded

The first step towards healing a wound is to acknowledge its existence as quickly as possible. The adage that time heals all wounds is not strictly true. Nothing fertilizes wounds so effectively as denial and compartmentalization. Untended, even the smallest wound can lead to complications that will affect all other areas of life.

Once the wound has been brought into the light, evaluate carefully it’s true source. If the wound did come at the hands of another, do everything possible to seek restoration and to extend forgiveness. It is important to remember that while restoration is a shared act, the burden for forgiveness lies exclusively on you. The other party may never recognize or even acknowledge the hurt caused, but that is no reason for you to miss out on the freedom found through forgiveness.

If you determine that the wound was of the self-inflicted variety, extend yourself some grace. A mistake is not indicative of who you are but simply of something you did. Don’t use your brain to bash your own head in. Consider the words of Romans 8:

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2  because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to     be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live  according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The  mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. (emphasis mine)

Finally, be careful not to misinterpret wounds that just happened in the course of ordinary life. Jesus said that “In this life you will have troubles.” If you are the type who consider God’s word to be full of promises, you can’t discount this one. It could be that a wound from an external source was simply a matter of miscommunication and not malice aforethought on the part of a brother or sister. So too it is important not to internalize and punish yourself for an unfortunate circumstance as though it was a result of something you did. It could be that the wound was received because you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and not because of a choice that you made.

Perhaps the most devastating effect of a wound is its ability to destroy peace in the mind of the wounded. In John 16 where Jesus promised troubles in this world, He also said “I have told you these things so that you might have peace.” Wounds can be a great source of anxiety but as the Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving make your requests known to God.” Imagine! If we will but give our anxieties to God, we are promised that He will give us peace that passes understanding in return.

God wants you to live in peace. Perhaps this is best seen in the prophetic words found in Isaiah 53 concerning the crucifixion of Jesus:

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and by His stripes we are healed.

Much time has been spent concentrating on the first part of this verse and on the last. We cling to the fact that Jesus was bruised and beaten to secure our forgiveness. We are eager to claim that “by His stripes we are healed.” Maybe we missed out on the middle of the verse because the word chastisement is so long as to be intimidating. In essence, the heart of this verse describes how Jesus was punished to provide us peace. How amazing that the redemptive work of Christ went so far as to consider our peace of mind. The surpassing grace of God is certainly, as Paul described it, an unspeakable gift

So take that rock out of your shoe. Give your wounds to the Father and walk tall and straight and without a limp into the peace that Jesus died to provide. He longs for your freedom even more than you do.